5 Motherhood Myths - DEBUNKED!
Posted on August 06 2018
Before you give birth to your bundle of joy, everyone is all too eager to provide you advice on the trials and tribulations of motherhood. While all of this information is offered with the best of intentions, not all of it is true. Therefore, you have to become wise to filter out the good from the bad.
Here are five motherhood myths that have been debunked. You may find these debunked myths below to be a breath of fresh air as you wade through the misinformation.
Mothers who stay at home are better than those who work
It’s often said that if you’re a stay at home mother, you’re better placed to take care of your children’s needs. While it’s true that you’re able to spend more time with them, you aren’t any less of a mother if you’re out in the workforce. If anything, you’re creating a solid foundation and encouraging hard work to get what you want in life.
The traditional concept of motherhood was that the mother would have the baby, then spend every waking moment catering to its needs. The mother would clothe it, feed it, educate it, and then mould it into a well-functioning and respectable member of society. While the basis of that is still valid today, the average mother doesn’t need to stay at home to raise her child.
Plenty of workplaces now support working mothers. They offer flexible hours and some even provide crèche services for those who require it. As long as you have a strong work ethic, the desire to work hard and the know-how to multitask, you can be a doting mother and a full-time professional. The best part is your children don’t think anything less of you.
Even if you aren’t blessed with a supportive work environment, you can still balance raising a family and motherhood with your busy work schedule. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child, so call upon that village. Turn to family and friends and day care providers, and always have a list of reputable babysitter contact information on hand. Your child’s needs are still going to be met, but you get a helping hand to do so.
The more time you spend with your children, the better it is for them
Studies have shown that the quantity is not what your children will remember and appreciate, it’s the quality of that time. If you are your child’s constant shadow – hovering over them at every waking moment, that’s quantity. If, however, you open their eyes to new experiences like trips to the park, museums, and on nature walks, that’s quality. The concept of motherhood can be considerably different, depending on who you talk to.
Your child is going to remember the time you fed the ducks at the pond or the time they got to go for a ride on a horse. They won’t spare a thought for the endless hours you spend in the same house as them merely supervising.
Therefore, it’s crucial to strike that healthy balance. Encourage play dates with friends to build that independence waiting to blossom and spend quality time with them as well.
You will feel an instant bond with your baby when it’s born
More often than not, you’ll hear other mothers tell you that as soon as your baby is placed in your arms, you will feel an immediate bond. Therefore, if you find there isn’t one, you’re bound to feel less of a mother. The truth is, not every mother feels a bond with their baby immediately – or even during the nine months of pregnancy. Many do, but not all.
Disconnection from your baby is not uncommon, but very few people are willing to talk about it. How do you tell someone that you feel nothing for the baby you just gave birth to? What you must know is that you aren’t the first woman to feel like that and you won’t be the last. For some women, it can take several days or even weeks to bond, but when you do, it’ll be a magical experience.
However, if you find that you’re not feeling the way you thought you would, or you’re generally feeling down, anxious, or depressed, it’s crucial to talk to your doctor. These feelings can often be associated with postpartum depression, and the sooner you seek help, the better you will feel. Motherhood is a journey, but no one said it is one that is always easy.
You always have to put your children first
There’s no denying that most mothers would sacrifice their own life for that of their children. That’s the strength and bond of a mother’s love. However, when you’re continually giving 100 percent to your children, day in day out, without ever a thought for yourself, it can take its toll. While you will always put your children first, no matter what, there are going to be times where you need to put yourself first.
If all you require is an hour of peace, a relaxing bubble bath, or even a spa, it’s crucial not to feel guilty about doing so. When every waking moment is spent trying to make sure your children are happy and healthy, there’s going to be a time when you need to take a break. Remember, it’s okay to do that.
Everyone else is doing a better job than me
When you’re dropping the kids off at school, it’s easy to begin comparing yourself to the other mothers there. Often, you may think they are the picture of perfection. Their kids are well dressed and groomed, they drive a nice car, and they look well put together. In essence, motherhood appears to be agreeing with them. However, you don’t know their story, and they don’t know yours. It’s effortless to put on a mask and be that perfect mother because as you know, you do it for your children every day.
If you start believing that you’re not doing an excellent job as a parent and begin comparing yourself to others, then it’s time to take a step back. Look at your children. Are they clothed, fed, happy, and healthy? Then you’re a good mother. If you sacrifice your happiness and sanity on a daily basis so that your children can have the happy childhood they deserve, then you’re a good mother.
There are so many motherhood myths out there that can make any doting mother feel less than perfect. You have been faced with the biggest job in the world – raising another human being. Be proud of what you’ve achieved, work hard, show your children you love them, and you will soon realize that nothing else matters. Have you been told other “myths” you think should be on this list?